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From: guest (Miwodin)
, 55 months, post #1 |
So I've been wondering if people believe it's a good idea to tell
your partner about this fetish or not. In the past, I have had 2
long term partners know about my fetish (mostly gts/m2f), one by
accidentally finding out and one by me trusting them enough to tell
them.
Both relationships ended badly, one due to us getting together too
young and becoming different people and the other due to her being
violent and assaulting due to mental problems.
The relationships were ended by myself for both of those reasons,
but towards the end, my fetish was used as the reason for us no
longer having as much sex, even though it was due to the loss in
feelings.
My current girlfriend that I have been with for a year, has asked
multiple times what turns me on specifically but I've never
mentioned due to the previous negative experiences.
Due to these fetishes being fully fantastical and hard/impossible
to act out, do you think that this will always cause issues because
they can't be acted upon or do you think that my fetish was blamed
to hide the other problems in my past relationships? And what are
your opinions on telling your own partners/my current partner?
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From: guest (cx)
, 55 months, post #2 |
My advice. Don't tell anything to a woman you wouldn't want all
their friends to know. I had to learn the hard way.
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From: Valkan
, 55 months, post #3 |
If it is a healthy, sex positive relationship built on respect,
love, and trust, then tell her. If not, then don't.
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From: guest (Miwodin)
, 55 months, post #4 |
@cx to be honest that hasn't crossed my mind or been an issue
before. Did something similar happen to yourself?
@Valkan this is some sound advice, thanks. Have you ever spoken to
a partner about this before?
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From: guest
, 55 months, post #5 |
I actually agree with cx. Women can't be trusted to keep secret.
They nonchalantly share the details of their sex life with their
friends in a lunch conversation.
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From: guest
, 55 months, post #6 |
i think it's obvious that you shouldn't. the fact that you can't
make the decision yourself and have to consult a forum tells at
least some of the story here 🤔. and no one here with good intent
would advise you to share a fetish like this one with your
significant other. cx and guest 5 have a good point.
please just cherish what you have and don't find a reason to self
sabotage it. a lot of people in this world don't get the chance to
have any relationship at all
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From: guest (guest666)
, 55 months, post #7 |
damn sounds like y'all have some very repressed old fashioned
relationships. I want to chime in and agree with Valkan on this
one, if you're partner is sex positive and a decent respectful
person, sharing your fetish can lead to some fun bedroom
exploration. TBH I wouldn't date someone long term that I wouldn't
have this level of comfort with.
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From: Monsta
, 55 months, post #8 |
I shared with my partner, and based on my experience I wouldn't
recommend it. It added nothing positive to my life experience.
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From: guest (Bit)
, 55 months, post #9 |
I've had good experiences. It's always nice to be able to share a
secret with someone that you trust. It has potential to lead to fun
stuff in the bedroom if you two are creative enough. Although some
people here have been burned hard, you know her better than we do
and have the better guess at what might happen. As for being blamed
for a fetish, you know that it was due to the loss in feelings in
the end. Breakups are messy and people sometimes lash out
irrationally. My guess is that if it wasn't the fetish, it would've
been blamed on something else.
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From: guest (razor)
, 55 months, post #10 |
If you really have to share it, I recommend sharing it to a
complete stranger, otherwise just keep it to yourself. Do you
really want to risk your relationship/friendship over your kink ?
Because let's face it, it's totally possible that your significant
other will accept it, but do you ever really know what's in his/her
mind ?
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From: guest
, 55 months, post #11 |
i'm glad SOME people here have this guy's best interest in mind.
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From: guest (Guest)
, 55 months, post #12 |
I told my wife and it's become something we regularly explore in
the bedroom.
I think you're wrong in thinking these things "can't be acted
upon". We certainly do in my relationship. You can always
role-play. Cross-dressing is a simple and effective way to get at
least a portion of the way there. And there are items out there
such as gaffs or silicone breast forms that can allow you to look
or feel more like the opposite gender.
You just need to find a partner who is comfortable with
facilitating your fetishes and you need to be comfortable helping
them enjoy theirs as well.
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