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G7's "Addicted"
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From: guest (G7) , 117 months, post #21
The teasing is my favorite part as well. This story has been really fun to write!

From: guest , 117 months, post #22
anything new coming up?

From: guest , 117 months, post #23
awesome update so far

From: guest (G7) , 117 months, post #24
Addicted! 11 is complete, I just started Addicted! 12. Hope you like it...

From: guest , 117 months, post #25
the update was great. can't wait to see how mary and rich deal with this.

From: guest , 117 months, post #26
i'd love to see a f2f change from mary at some point in the story.

From: dis_guise , 117 months, post #27
I had a look at this, not expecting much -- and ended up reading the lot. It's quite good: the writing is solid and the story coherent. Female measurements, female clothes and cosmetics, and sex scenes get rather more attention than I think optimal for storytelling, but a lot of readers treasure such things and might find this emphasis exactly right. At the end of chapter 11 we finally get some serious consequences from all the reckless behavior -- going to be interesting.

It's better than much of the stuff on FictionMania and the author might consider posting it there as well.

From: guest (G7) , 117 months, post #28
Did a plot twist it and let me know what you think before I continue?

From: guest , 117 months, post #29
it seems like she found out about rich and mary a little too quickly. there could've been a much bigger build up. michelle would probably be suspicious but shrugs it off as being absolutely crazy or hearing things. who in their right mind would think anything like that is possible right? maybe she starts dating marco, or just hanging around with him a lot more, and notices oddities about becca and marco (like they are both teenagers yet live in a house with no parents, don't know anything about the school they're supposed to go to, etc.). over time she would probably get more and more suspicious and put more and more pieces together. that would lead to mary and rich trying to cover it up with her power, but that blows up in their face and now they're forced to confess. to me that seems a little more plausible because i don't see anyone just coming right out and confessing when asked like rich did.

From: guest (G7) , 117 months, post #30

From: guest (Mountjoy) , 117 months, post #31
I don't agree. I read the whole story and I was very intrigued when he told her who he really was. It may have been a BIT rushed, but as we found out in the last chapter Rich really likes being teased in his new form, so it makes sense that he would tell Michelle. I also am very interested to see where this will go bringing another person into their circle. What transformations will Michelle want to have done to herself? Plus it gives another person to tease Rich which is one of my favorite aspects of the story. Reading this chapter just made me wish the story kept going and going. This is one of the best stories i've ever read and I commend you, G7!

From: guest , 117 months, post #32
i think if chelle found out so fast the story wont be so great, i think as the story goes on chelle will eventually put all the pieces together!
but it would be nice if becca or marco will live like this for a while and go to highschool it would be cool!

From: guest (G7) , 116 months, post #33
It felt too rushed to me. 'Chelle will be a new char that "knows" but I may make it take longer for her to find out. Maybe a few days. I see her playing the role of "Mentor" to teach Rich how to act like a "real" teenage girl...not this sex craved slut!

From: guest (G7) , 116 months, post #34
Did a huge update. I think it came out pretty good. Let me know what you think!

From: dis_guise , 116 months, post #35
Good stuff... I'm not sure you should have followed this path of opening up the secret, and for another character to so readily believe something so inherently unlikely is shaky ground. On the whole, it works, and the new, less-stable situation certainly has a lot of possibilities. Sometimes you have to take risks as a writer.

I wish that the paragraphs were more clearly distinguished when I read the story. I'm not sure what's to blame for that.

From: guest (G7) , 116 months, post #36
Thanks for the input. Try as I might, I can't get the paragraphs to post exactly as I lay them out.

From: guest , 116 months, post #37
i think chelle was to easy going to accept the fact that hes a guy and how everything just works out so easily. i thought it would take few more chapters to take places instead. anyways its pretty good since it would be nice for becca to go to highschool and experience highschool life and the same time living a double life at hooters and as a man! it should be great see how a slutty highschool girl she is!

From: guest , 116 months, post #38
new update please!!

From: guest (Mountjoy) , 116 months, post #39
G7, I can't begin to tell you how awesome this story is. I've been reading the small updates that have been happening to your story and I love every little bit of it. It is still one of the hottest stories i've ever read. I love it when Chelle asks him questions about being a girl and about once being a man. I also love it when he gets teased. Thank you for such an amazing story!

From: guest (G7) , 116 months, post #40
Sorry Guys...been REALLY busy lately. I started to lose interest in the story. Any ladies out there want to work with me on the story. I'd love to pick your brains on details.

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