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A request [Pimping my own story, "Potion Mix Up"]
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From: guest (Gypsy) , 97 months, post #1
Pimping my own story, sorry, if I am breaking any rules, but I want some feed back.

https://www.fictionmania.tv/stories/readtextstory.html?storyID=1461796670475553999

Please, write a review there.

Thanks



From: cj , 97 months, post #2
Pimp it once... and if it answers a question, and you should be fine.

We just don't want you or it to spam the board. :-)

From: guest (Gypsy) , 97 months, post #3
Thank you, CJ

From: cj , 97 months, post #4
And thank you, Gypsy, for sharing your story.

From: Mr. Ram , 97 months, post #5
I just finished reading the story. It's real good!


From: guest (Gypsy) , 97 months, post #6
You are most welcome, CJ, thank you for the site, have been a fan for a while

Mr. Ram, I appreciate your review, and your comment here. It gives me hope for my future plans.



From: guest , 97 months, post #7
Easily one of the best stories I've ever read. Reminded me of 'Cursed Brad' and thats when I realized you were the same author. Great work, and I hope you keep it up.

From: Mr. Ram , 97 months, post #8
Gypsy,

If you want more reviews at Fictionmania, you should avoid tagging stories SBIC, Should It Be Continued.

There are a lot of readers who avoid reading stories with that tag, as they are rarely continued.

Post them as complete stories.

From: guest (Gypsy) , 97 months, post #9
Mr. Ram, I am a little confused about the way that works, as I am working on a few chapter 2s. Potion Mix Up II and another one that happens in the same world- all of them have a very similar theme, but there is a... story that is going on behind the scenes that will come out in either two or three more tails.

I should have not marked them SBIC as the stories will not have the same characters- well, there might be one cross over into all of them.

Thank you for the comment, I am sorry for the confusion- mine, not yours in the matter of how the site functions.

From: cj , 97 months, post #10
RE if a story is complete or not -- My thoughts:

Is the story like the Well Worlds, or Harry Potter series of books (each (most) book is a complete story, but they are all part of a greater story)? If so, then your story would be a complete story, but/and perhaps part of an ongoing series.

However, if the story you're trying to tell is not yet complete - then it is either a partial story or a story chapter, and the story is not complete.

There are, of course, exceptions to this simple thinking. But you might find it helpful in deciding if the story is complete or not.

Anyhow, that's my opinion.


I've used the SIBC category for a story. It was a submission that was more like the beginning of a story idea... and I wanted to get a feel of whether it was something that others thought might be an interesting read.

From: guest (Gypsy) , 96 months, post #11
Okay, so I am pimping another of my stories to you guys, I am asking comments- good or bad.

It is my intention to write more on this world as I have a long term story that I want to tell, it might take a but to get to (I know, its weird but I have a life).

https://www.fictionmania.tv/stories/readtextstory.html?storyID=146400363734690384

From: guest (Gypsy) , 96 months, post #12
After a week of rewrites I have reposted a story. Asking if you guys would not mind checking it out, tell me what you think. Thank you.


https://www.fictionmania.tv/stories/readtextstory.html?storyID=146400363734690384

From: guest (KJ) , 96 months, post #13
A personal grudge/rage/rant with TG thrown in to make it passable.

From: Holly Dunn , 96 months, post #14
This story has some brilliant elements. The contrast between the mom who is suppressing her lesbian feelings through prayer was one of the best characters I've seen in a while. There was some wonderful description and you get inside the main character's head.

I do not know what you mean by the grudge thing the previous poster said.

The story has some imperfections, mostly spelling, but when it comes to organic story tension and conflict, it is one of the best things I have read in a long time. I recommend TG fans of transformation who like actual story development check it out.

From: guest (KJ) , 96 months, post #15
Meant what I wrote. Could not get through the story, though I wanted to, due to the author's use of the story as a rant/rage they have against a group in society..



From: guest (Gypsy) , 96 months, post #16
KJ, I am sorry you feel that way, I do my best to hold no grudges or anger towards anyone or any group, and I am sorry that you saw me doing that- it was simply the characters and the story I was trying to tell.

I am not sure where this rant/rage thing comes from in your reading of the story. I was only trying to display a semi realistic display of what I thought a character might feel if they were suddenly transformed into the opposite gender (which they did not want).

I am sorry that you did not like the story, but to each their own, as I have been told. As I am not a fan of the hetro turned woman jumps into bed with first guy s/he meets, or suddenly knows how to apply make up or likes high heels or any number of combinations that are written into TG stories. I try not to belittle the stories that are written like that (not that I thought your review was belittling it was your opinion and I appreciate that), I just don't read them.

Ronda, the character was based off a friend's Mom- as I may have mentioned, I toned her way back from the real person (I was afraid that her religious rants might over bear the story to much, and I am not that up on the Bible). The lesbian portion of her character was not added, it was what I learned about her in the last months of knowing her. It was interesting to see her transformation once she accepted herself (I really need to locate her son and see how he is doing).

Again, my apologies, I thank you for reading the story (any who got through the first paragraph), and telling me what you thought. I hope that I can complete the story but work, wife, kid(s), and all are time consuming (as they should be) and presently slowing that progress.

Oh, and there was an offer of art work... if any were done, it would really cool... say posted on someone's Deviant Art page... just saying.... :-)

Peace to all, and keep doing what you do (just don't hurt anyone)

From: guest (reader) , 96 months, post #17
Love that my 1st favorite author (HollyDunn) is praising my new 2nd favorite author (Gypsy). Excited to see future works from both!

From: Holly Dunn , 96 months, post #18
Gypsy in your response to KJ you said:

Oh, and there was an offer of art work... if any were done, it would really cool... say posted on someone's Deviant Art page... just saying.... :-)

I don't think KJ wants to do any art for your story.

I on the other hand would be happy to. My projects are kinda stuck in neutral, and a brief distraction might be good for me.

I'll post some rough draft test images tonight on my Deviant Art page. I'm not really clear on what the mom looks like and I would like to know your preferences on hair and outfits. I will name them the character's names in your story, but I will not name your story or claim they are a part of your story or universe. In this draft I will not use any direct quotes from your story,

Do I have your permission to do that?

If nothing else, some people might enjoy the captioned images.

From: guest (Gypsy) , 96 months, post #19
Holly, apologies, I was being lazy and trying to be sly, yes it was you that I was speaking to about the offer you made.

Ronda is 5'7", dark brown hair, not overly pretty (a 6 on the 10 scale), hazel eyes, 150 lbs- not in great shape. In most of the scenes she is in a dress, but after work she wears office attire.

I would love to see someone else's vision of the characters.

Reader (post #17) I hope you understand that I put a lot of work into this story, I hope that I do not let you down on the next.

From: Holly Dunn , 96 months, post #20
Reader (post #17)... that comment made my day. Thank you.

Gypsy... I posted a Rough Draft sequence based one your story. It is a Rough Draft, and am waiting for your input. We will need some direct communication to move forward.

Some of you may enjoy the TG Captions, even though my posing in these rough drafts leaves a lot to be desired.

Holly's Page Deviant Art


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