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Do you ever think about quitting or giving it up?
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From: guest (Bob) , 102 months, post #21

I'm not sure if you can just "quit" it, since it's technically a fetish for most people. A psychological thing.

I certainly don't think I ever will myself since, at the very least, it gives me some fun daydreaming material to pass the time with.

From: DB Cooper , 102 months, post #22

When I was in high school I went through a religious phase where I would periodically throw out my hard won, pre internet TG literature, swearing to never look at such sinful material again. That was over 20 years ago. It didn't take me long to realize I'm in this for the long haul, and I don't regret it at all.

From: guest , 102 months, post #23

CJ, I'm sorry to hear that. I don't see why not. I mean this is all fantasy but you're entitled to your opinion.
For me, I guess I'm of an adventurer and I would be bold. And it's not men objectifying women. It's about being in a gorgeous female body and wanting to show it off. What's wrong with that?

I can definitely with the religious aspect. If my parents knew, they would probably disown me and think of me as a freak. This type of thing is frowned upon in society. What is a person sexually that is into this type of fetish? Is the person straight, gay, bisexual, or questioning?
If you have a fantasy of temporarily being in the body of a gorgeous woman, does that make you gay or bisexual or can you still be a straight guy?

I think those types of questions can make a person want to quit. I definitely weird and not normal because of the fetish.

Can cross dressing in your adolescent years create this type of fetish? I tried that out when I was younger but it was always in private. I eventually grew out of it because it got boring. I think that phase might be why I love women in heels and pantyhose. Can that happen?

Sorry for all the questions but I'm just curious and I can't afford paying my therapist 50 bucks for 1 hour this month.

And sorry if I overshared.

From: guest (Jayzie) , 102 months, post #24

I don't think it makes you specifically any of those things. If I were to hazard a guess I'd paint it more like a picture. A straight person would have one object in a painting, a gay person would have a totally different object. For people like us, generally we'd have the same object as the straight person but the colors would be inverted.

That's how we are. Straight but inverted. Our sexual attraction is inverted on the "self."
Wait until you get a major crush on someone. It seems that instead of trying to impress them, which you will anyway, you are more geared toward inadvertently copying their personality traits.

I don't know what is wrong with us. Maybe a failed biological attempt at evolution?

From: guest , 102 months, post #25

So a straight guy can still be straight if he fantasized about swapping with a woman or turning into woman and was turned by a man either by touching or sex?

I just hate it that society is so mean toward this type of fantasy and fetish. You would think that with all of the progress with the gay people, that America would be more open minded.

Is curiosity so bad? I'm just curious. Even with my curiosity, I would never do surgery or do or want any permanent physical changes whether it was surgery or magic(if it existed). I guess I'm more interested in a rental.

From: cj , 102 months, post #26

I think that being curious about being the opposite sex has more to do with our own quest for knowledge or understanding, or as a reaction to feeling out of place due to some perceived flaw in our self or lack of self worth (we're not happy with who we are). I don't think that it really is a matter or either sexual orientation or gender identity... though it is probably more closely related to the latter. I'm certainly not saying that we all share this distance from our curiosity being separate from orientation or identity, certainly there are some whose issues with either of those two issues would also share this desire for a different build.

Your sexual orientation while fantasizing being opposite-gendered is an interesting thing to consider. The way that I look at it is this:

My orientation is heterosexual male (straight). I'm not at all curious about sex with or attracted to men, while I still have this male body. That's all.

My orientation really has nothing to do with my imaginings of "what if". While I may try to imagine or be curious about sex AS A woman, I'm not a woman. So this really has no bearing on my orientation.

Now... if that curiosity about sex as a woman, grew to curiosity about sex with men, and then again to experiencing that being separate from as a woman... then yeah, I'd probably no longer be simply hetero male. But unless your desire to experience sex with men isn't coupled with and a side-note to being a woman, then it really would have no bearing on your orientation, IMO.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

People fear what they don't understand. This is especially true, IMO, when the populace in question is held by rigid conformity, and concepts that stray outside of these fixed norms are shunned or attacked as being "not right".

People just don't change overnight. It will take some time before minds are truly opened.

From: guest (TGJunkie) , 102 months, post #27

I'm probably odd, even for a fan of TG content. I have thought about quitting.

For me, this obsession is most likely unhealthy. It does interfere with my life, and is a defining or driving force in my life. For me, becoming a woman isn't about intercourse, or clothes, or a different perspective. For me, it's about self-esteem. In my fantasies, by becoming a woman, I stop being depressed and start caring about things again. I want to be passionate, motivated and friendly, but I can barely manage to care if I live or die. I hate being a man, and am disgusted by men, when I look in the mirror I feel only disappointment. I've talked to a psychologist, but she didn't seem to understand at all. I clearly haven't found the right psychologist yet, but I don't care enough to put much effort into finding another. I mean, if I don't get help, I could die, but a quick death doesn't scare me as much as a long, slow suffering death. The world wouldn't be any better or worse without me. I am definitely not a healthy example of the TG community. I'm probably not social enough to call myself part of a community anyway.

I've thought about giving up on my obsession. The problem for me is that it's not just a curiosity. Sure I'm curious, but I think I've got a pretty good idea of what it would be like. The problem for me, is that without my obsession I'd have only my self-hatred left. I'm not really afraid of what would happen if I had only self-hate left, but I'd feel stupid if I killed myself after suffering for so long. At least 98% of people don't kill themselves. If 98% of people can go on living, then living can't be that hard, but for now I prefer to live with the small comfort that my obsession provides.

My dream is that if I live long enough, suffer long enough, eventually scientists will find a way for me to become a woman with a complete set of functional reproductive organs.

So short answer: The dreams and fantasies aren't a problem for me, those are fun, warm and comforting. What I want to give up is the self-hate, which is sad, cold and painful.

If you read all of this, I apologize to you and thank you. I hope I made a meaningful contribution to this thread. My contribution is pretty dark.

From: cj , 102 months, post #28

TGJunkie -- I'm not sure that you're that odd. You're correct, you need to find better help with your issues. Don't stop looking until you find someone who understands and can help.

I can tell you that most of those 98% that keep living will disagree with you strongly about living life not being hard. You will find that they also have struggles and pains and have to make sacrifices to make it from one week or day or minute to the next.

I know what it's like to lose one's passion and motivation, to lose interest in the things you love to do, to get out and be with people, to do the daily chores that one must to stay healthy and active and alive, to drop out of life and to want to just disappear or waste away. I know. The fact that you desire to be someone... something different from who you are right now, at least in the physical sense... means that you still feel something - you still have a shred of hope left. You are still alive, you are still fundamentally, you.

While we may never live long enough to realize our dream of being a born girl or even a genetic woman capable of pregnancy and childbirth, you still must realize that even if such a thing were possible in our lifetime, you would still be the same you underneath all that female flesh. Your ability to cope with life and obstacles along your way will not change. You must be strong, you must find a way to deal with the troubles that life throws your way, you must overcome the desire to shrink away from or be stopped by the things that you cannot control. You have to remember that this life is a live or die reality - if you do not FIGHT to live, you will die.

Life will be hard, there are tough times to struggle through, much work to keep your head above water, and lots of pain. These are the things that make the accomplishments feel so good, these are the things that remind you that you are alive, they are the things that let you and others know that you still feel.

Don't give up! You are not alone! The fact that you dream and desire and can still share your thoughts and feelings with others gives you more value. It helps to reinforce our voice, to strengthen our ability to be heard, to be understood.

In my darkest moments, I was always lucky to have a friend or a family member reach down into the muck and pull me back from oblivion. How they somehow knew just when to do that, I'll never know - and I don't really care. I'm just happy that they did (except when life gets painful, then I'm not too happy to be alive).

I hope for you, that you have people who care like I do, and that they are enough to help you keep trying to hold on until you can climb back up that mountain far enough to reignite your drive to fuel your own passions.

From: guest (TGJunkie) , 102 months, post #29

Thanks for your response cj, things have been getting pretty dark inside my head lately. I haven't talked to anyone about this recently, and I know I really should. One of my many problems is that I know what I should do, but there's a large part of me that doesn't care anymore. Do you know a good place to find therapists who are familiar with gender issues, or community discussion/group support, or whatever? I might still have it in me to reach out, but I don't know if really I want to bother people again.

From: cj , 102 months, post #30

I wish I knew of a good place for you start searching for good help. You may want to try doing a Google search for Gender Specialist and whatever area you are from (in my case, I'd need to widen the search to include neighboring states). And sometimes, that will only be the start of a LONG process (in my case, most specialists are likely to be hours away)... and just because the therapist or doctor may be among the best in the business, doesn't mean that they are the best pro for you - everyone is a bit different in their needs and their approach.

Hopefully, someone else may have a better suggestion to help in your search.

And as for community or group support... if you are unable to find better help, at least keep talking with us. We are better than nothing - and you are as anonymous as you wish to be. It may be a case of the blind leading the blind, but at least you are talking, and you know that you're not alone.

From: cj , 102 months, post #31

" I don't know if really I want to bother people again."

What is our purpose for living, if not to help others have a better life? Sure, you may be the one needing help right now - but it may not always be that way. Someday, you may be the one that discovers (or leads to the discovery of) the most significant piece to making brain transplants or genetic re-coding possible.

From: guest , 102 months, post #32

I think I'm more curious about the female orgasm than the female orgasm + penetration. Sorry if it's too blunt but all of this stuff is just a fantasy.

There are some other things that also drive my curiosity like the attention, attire, and getting favors and of course the whole experience.

My problems with the fetish is I think I just waste to much time on it. In general, I'm a time waster. I could be doing more productive things with my time besides fantasizing and trying to satisfying my curiosity about the fetish.

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