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From: Forestier , 101 months, post #161
You don't know what the thread this message was taken from was about. Some messages may have touched this subject...

From: Forestier , 101 months, post #162
Can anyone (preferably a post-op MTF) explain what Harpon could mean?
"Not having a penis helps me endure a lot of things I couldn't have as a man- and some of those things have even presented themselves as intentionally trying to induce regret."

Here: http://www.crossdreamers.com/2009/08/autogynephilia-defined.html

From: guest (Kathie) , 101 months, post #163
I can think of an example that I might describe that way. The other day I was getting a tour of a facility and the gentleman giving me the tour was very much talking down to me (I sensed it was because he assumed I did not know much about the topic because "I'm only a woman."). At one point, I asked a question (sincerely) which he realized could only come from someone who knew something about the topic already and he looked shocked. I believe he said something like "Oh! Apparently you know something about this." To which I replied "it's my field."

I believe that that would have been much more difficult for a man to tolerate (most, probably including me 15 years ago, would have been very insulted). I actually have mixed feelings when things like this happen -- as annoying as it is, it also makes it clear that I am definitively seen as a woman.

And, it can also been see as "intentionally trying to induce regret" in that other, whom I know have had experiences like this, sometimes see this as a reminder than, in many way, women are treated as second class citizens. This could cause some to feel some regret.

But I have no idea if this is the kind of thing that Harpon meant.

From: guest , 101 months, post #164
http://shitpeoplesaytowomendirectors.tumblr.com/post/132668063175/accountmadejusttotellsomeonetoge

Well, believe it or not, this example is even more egregious than yours.

"When my wife transitioned, working in tech, she found that her coworkers and subordinates did start treating her differently. She even had one guy working under her who tried to tell her how to use a piece of software that she herself had taught him only three months before."

That tumblr is full of examples of behaviour like that but this one particularly stood out.

From: guest (Pip) , 101 months, post #165
Forestier: I accept I may be wrong. I based my comment on the good number of posts by Trans women and a good number of posts from people saying that they are Trans women, but other evidence later suggest they are not... and the former group rarely seem to mention toiletry habits.

Kathie: I do get your mixed feelings, I always imagine if I transisition I'd experience the same mixed feelings - but I bet the positive feelings the 'at least they see me as..." wear off sometime and you are just left with the irritation!

The stories you all tell, and the cartoon posted by Guest are very instructive. I just hope I'm never that jerk who asks women demeaning questions but I fear I may carry some programming that makes me so.

Oh course, sometimes things are not always quite as they seem.. A few years ago I had this phone conversation with my friend Jenny

me: I've bought a new car

Jenny: Oh what sort of car

me: A blue car

Jenny: Tutt... Just because I'm a woman, you think I wont be able to understand about makes and models of car. Typical Man.

Me: But I DON'T understand models and makes of car! Just because you think I'm a man you think I should. I'm not a typical man at all!

And its true, talking to her I'd forgotten the actual make of car I'd bought that day. Maybe other men would do the same, not sure...

Of course the guys who ask you (and Crissie in the Cartoon) silly questions may just be jerks!

From: guest (Kathie) , 101 months, post #166
Of course. Others assuming that you do know something can be just as insulting or annoying as others assuming that you don't. And I'm guessing that what you just described, Pip, is probably something that a lot of FTMs experience that might be the counterpart to what I described.

By the way, since my post regarding that story, another similar one has happened. It's, honestly, almost a daily occurrence if I pay attention looking for it.

From: guest , 101 months, post #167
The one where the guy tried to tell someone how to use a piece of software that they themselves had taught him just 3 months previously was someone being particularly dumb.

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